I don’t know why people make such a big deal about turning the big “4-0.” I reached the milestone this past April, and honestly? I’ve loved it.
Forty feels quieter than thirty-nine did. More settled. My kids are in their teens now so there’s still plenty of motion at home, but something shifted inside me — like I finally gave myself permission to slow down without keeping score.
So instead of planning a big blowout party or flying somewhere over the border for my birthday, I chose a weekend away with just my sister at Perkins Hollow Retreat in Nelson County, Virginia. She laid out two options: a staycation half an hour from home, or a city trip about two hours away. You’re not surprised I picked the closer one.
The Cottage
We booked The Cottage on Perkins Hollow’s property — a one-room studio that had everything we needed and then some. A screened-in porch (we used it for morning coffee and evening conversation), a fire pit area, an outdoor bath and shower, a full-size kitchen, and an indoor bathroom with a rain shower head. And the bed? Quite possibly the most comfortable king I’ve ever slept on. I’m not exaggerating.
We found ourselves making mental notes of who made the bed pillows, the kitchen ceramics, and the robes — all things we wanted to upgrade at home afterward. Details like that matter when you’re trying to build a self-care practice that actually sticks.
There’s also a resident dog on the property. River is a black lab who made himself very much at home during our time there. The first evening we unpacked, changed into comfy clothes, poured some wine, and watched a big storm roll in from swivel chairs on the porch while River snoozed beside us.
A Saturday in Charlottesville
The next morning I got up early with my book and watched the light come through the screens before making breakfast and waking my sleepy sister. Then we drove about 40 minutes to downtown Charlottesville.
We spent the day browsing: specialty stationery and pens at Rock Paper Scissors, handmade goods at Cville Arts, secondhand clothing at Darling x Dashing and Arsenic & Old Lace, lunch at Zocalo. The kind of slow Saturday that doesn’t show up on a to-do list but fills you up anyway.
The one special thing I wanted for my 40th was a nose piercing — my version of a midlife crisis, except more thrilling and joy-filled. We went to ACME Tattoo after lunch, and getting something a little edgier was such an adrenaline rush. My sister wasn’t planning on getting anything but ended up with an extra ear piercing too. I’m now officially addicted.
Evening Rituals
Back at the cottage we made a massive pot of caramelized fennel pasta and ate on the in-room leather couch to a playlist my sister put together — throwback music from high school and college. Then came the best part: a long soak in the outdoor tub with our bathing suits, River wandering over to play guard dog while evening bugs buzzed up in the trees above us.
The next day we headed home sad but already planning how to get back. On the way we stopped for breakfast at Belties in Nellysford, then went to a sound bath at Afton Mountain Vineyards. It was glorious — such a soft place to land after a weekend like that.
The Glow Ritual
Try this: Pick one evening this week and step outside with a cup of tea or wine — no phone, no agenda. Just sit and listen to whatever sounds are around you. Bugs in the trees, wind through leaves, rain on a porch roof. Five minutes is enough. Your skin absorbs calm too.
Frequently Asked Questions
Where exactly is Perkins Hollow Retreat?
Nelson County, Virginia — about a 40-minute drive from downtown Charlottesville and nestled in the foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountains. It’s part of the Nelson 151 Brew Trail area.
Is it worth going without kids?
Absolutely. The Cottage is set up for couples or small groups, and the quiet pace makes it ideal for a girls’ weekend or solo reset. That said, the property has space and outdoor areas that families enjoy too.
What should I pack?
Comfy clothes, a book, bathing suit for the outdoor tub, and something warm enough for an evening by the fire pit. They provide robes, kitchen essentials, and everything else you need in-room.
A note from Johnson: I keep coming back to one thing from that weekend — how much peace fits into a screened porch and a glass of wine when nobody needs anything from you. At 40, I’m learning that glow isn’t about doing more. It’s about giving yourself room to just be.
Glow is a habit, not a product.